In Memory Of Ryan

 

This is the older of our two buildings at church, as pictured in 2001.

When I first began experiencing symptoms of severe depression, back in the summer of 2013... Ryan O'Neal, an elder at our church, was the first one to reach out and call me. I've never forgotten that.

I began attending Calvary in 1998. It took me a while, but eventually (in November of 2000) I got baptized and became an official member of this church here in Woodbridge VA. About two months afterward... I met Ryan for the first time, on the night of the Super Bowl between the Ravens and the Giants.

It was then that I learned that, he too, had very recently joined Calvary and had just begun teaching in our "junior church" program. Similar to Sunday School but the program was held during the 11:00 worship service and was geared towards the 1st-5th graders. Originally, the kids were divided up into age groups and met in separate classrooms on the second floor of the newer building... it was essentially, through the end of the 2000-01 school year, an extension of their 9:30 hour Sunday School.

I volunteered to work in the junior church ministry (my very first ministry at Calvary) about a week or two later. Teachers were rotated by month, meaning I'd be on the schedule for every Sunday during the month I was assigned, and the effort was made to pair two teachers for every room. Ryan and I ended up working together as co-teachers during at least one of the months (and I think, a second one, as well) before the decision was made to re-format the junior church ministry.

By the first Sunday of September 2001, the junior church program had been moved to the original building (the one pictured above) and was set up as more of a traditional worship service for the kids... complete with music followed by the sermon.

Ryan was the one who would give the sermon, as he was much more gifted in that area than I was. My primary responsibility was to open the service with a brief welcome/announcements/opening prayer segment and then let Mr. O'Neal take over from there.

Ryan was a phenomenal speaker and preacher and he had a great passion for the Lord. I knew it had a big impact on the kids. As things would turn out, I served as the opener for only two weeks. On September 16th (the third Sunday of the month)... after much deliberation and prayer and in light of the terrible events that had just taken place in our country earlier in the week, I felt a greater need than ever to be in the worship service that morning. It ended up being a permanent move.

As fas as I know however... Ryan never stepped down from his role as the leader of our junior church ministry. Nearly every Sunday for the next 21 years, he faithfully preached and taught the word of God to an entire generation of our church's elementary aged students... serving as a great role model and impacting hundreds if not thousands of lives.

And I think it bears worth mentioning that he was an encourager and a friend to adults too, as evidenced by what I wrote in the opening of this letter.

Ryan passed away, very unexpectedly, this past Thursday the 18th of August. He will be greatly missed by us all, but at least I hope we can take comfort in knowing he is in the presence of the Lord now... where there is no more mourning, no more crying, nor pain anymore. (Revelation 21:4)

Please be in prayer for Ryan's family during this difficult time, as well as our church congregation. Thank you.

Fire and Rain

 "I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend. But I always thought that I'd see you again."

In 1970, songwriter and musician James Taylor wrote and then recorded this song, "Fire and Rain", as a tribute to a friend he had not seen in many years... after learning of her passing away unexpectedly.

Early last week, I thought about my brother in Christ and long time friend, Tim Miller. It's been about 3 years since I last saw him, but we have kept in touch quite often through the social media channel known as Facebook. He came to mind, quite out of the blue, as I was driving down the I-4 on Tuesday heading towards an early morning delivery in Lakeland Florida. I noticed I had not seen him on facebook in quite some time and I made a mental note to myself that I would check in on him by the end of the week once I had some downtime.

I first met Tim Miller in 2009. I was just coming back to church, my home church (Calvary) in Woodbridge VA, after a lengthy absence of a few years. Coincidentally, Tim was just starting his ministry as worship pastor at Calvary at that same time. That was in March of 2009.

I could tell right off the bat that Pastor Tim was a very special person. He had a heart for worship which was a great inspiration to me at the time, and also a very clever sense of humor. He was very friendly and relatable too; very easy to get to know... and we connected as friends rather quickly.

Less than a year later, Pastor Tim's ministry at Calvary came to an abrupt end as he and his family (which at the time was his wife and young daughter) moved to Oklahoma, due to some extenuating circumstances which I won't get in to here. That was in January of 2010. I was devastated when I found out that he was no longer going to be at Calvary but grateful for the time that he was there and for the impact he had on me. He was a great fit for our church's ministry... I have, and will always believe that. Tim's ministry and impact didn't end there though.

Beginning in 2013, I struggled with major clinical depression (still ongoing today) which really hit a peak in the summer and fall of 2016. Or maybe "valley" is a more fitting word in this case... either way the point is, it was at its worst during this time. Tim took it upon himself to reach out to me in 2016, writing (through Facebook messenger) a few very long notes with words of encouragement, his own testimony and struggles with depression, and some practical advice as well... all the while reminding me that God has a plan for good through it all. I've never told him this, but Tim quite literally saved my life... it was his notes, and his words of encouragement that "talked me down off the ledge."

Things improved dramatically for me over the course of the next several months. I made a coast to coast trip out to California in March of 2017, which turned out to be the most significant life changing trip I've ever made to date. I got a new job with a national trucking company while out west and in August of that year, I transferred to their eastern division, and returned back home to the east coast. I made it a point to stop in Oklahoma on the way back home and arrange to meet up with Tim.

I visited Tim at the hospital where he was working as a chaplain at the time, we went out to lunch, and he took me on a little mini-tour of Oklahoma City. That was on Friday August 18th 2017. It was the first time I'd seen him since he left VA early in 2010. He told me how proud he was of me, and that he himself was encouraged by just how far I'd come over the previous year.

Since the company I worked for at the time also had a division in Oklahoma, I knew I would be running through the area quite a lot and I assumed I'd probably see Tim a time or two again. At least, I always thought that I'd see him one more time again.

Tim Miller passed away unexpectedly this past Wednesday, September 30th. I learned of the news on Friday night.

I'm truly heartbroken over this. It may be heaven's gain, but it is the world's loss... as the world has lost one of Christ's greatest soldiers. Tim Miller had a heart of gold. He truly had a heart for the underprivileged, the homeless, the depressed and downtrodden, the very "outcasts" of society that the Pharisees and religious leaders of Jesus' time on earth would shun but that Jesus would hang out with. Most importantly he had a heart for worship and for Jesus, and I know he is with the Savior now in peace.

But I always thought I'd see him again.

I thank you for reading this long tribute. Prayer warriors, please do be in prayer for Tim's family at this time as they deal with this heartbreaking grief.

Maybe The Church, Perhaps, Means A Little Bit More

Greetings, my friends and followers.

The month of March is coming to a close, and let me just say... wow, what a crazy month it has been! We are all for sure living through an unprecedented time now... with quarantines, closed schools and buildings, public events and large gatherings such as concerts and sporting events postponed or cancelled, and apparently even a very limited supply of toilet paper!

As for me, this month of March began quite normally. In fact, it began on a great note... as March 1st was on a Sunday and it just so happened to be the 22 year anniversary of my first ever visit to Calvary Baptist Church, a church family that I am still a part of today and still love dearly. And I was in church at Calvary that morning (and evening too!) and it was a fantastic all around day!

Twelve days later, on Friday the 13th (our third one of those within a six month period, a rare occurrence due to this being a leap year)... the coronavirus had just begun to take control of our worlds. The concern for containing the spread of infection (something I really didn't care to be bothered to think about up until this point) had businesses, schools, and even churches making the decision to temporarily close doors left and right.

But our church wouldn't do that, right? No, in fact at 4:00 on that Friday afternoon I received an email announcement from our pastor that Sunday activities on the 15th would continue as normal, and that they (meaning the elders) would meet early that morning of the 15th to assess the situation and determine from there whether or not to suspend services moving forward beyond the 15th.

Excellent plan, I thought! Knowing that we might not be meeting again in person for a few weeks, but at least this Sunday we were good. About four hours later, I got another email announcement. The pastor and elders had decided to get together and reschedule their Sunday morning meeting for... well, that Friday afternoon the 13th instead. And... they reversed their original decision!

I'm not proud of my initial reaction. My immediate reaction to the second email was one of shock, disbelief, and betrayal... and then anger followed, and I didn't even try to hide my feelings. I'll never be able to unsay the things I said that night, as much as I wish I could.

Never the less, I still held onto those feelings for a day or two. The devil wants those church doors closed. He knows if he can get God's people apart, he can destroy the church and its people. Or, at least... that's what he thinks anyway!

But something else happened instead on Sunday morning. And the following Sunday as well. I found ways to worship God and connect with my church family through social media. Facebook. Post the lyrics to some popular worship songs. Google hangouts. Virtual Sunday School. Calvary's website. Our pastor's blog.

The movie "The Grinch That Stole Christmas" comes to mind here now. At the end of the movie, when the grinch realizes he was unsuccessful in ruining Christmas... he reflects and says "maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store... maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."

Well, my friends, to paraphrase the grinch... maybe the church isn't just inside a building's doors. Maybe the church, perhaps, means a little bit more.

Matter of fact, when you look in the Bible... you'll find the "maybe" clause is not necessary. The church, God's Church... IS more! 1 Peter, Chapter 2 says in verses 4 through 9...

As you come to Him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For it stands in scripture: "Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone chosen and precious, and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame." So the honor is for you who believe, but for those who do not believe, "The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone," and "A stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense." They stumble because they disobey the word, as they were destined to do. But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

We, as God's people, ARE the Church! We are a "chosen race" and a "royal priesthood" Be encouraged by this. Does the temporary closing of a church building strengthen your faith? Or does it weaken it?

Now more than ever, we need God's people to be the Church, as He has called us to be. Until we meet again, and then after we meet again too!

For the church isn't just inside a building's doors. The church, God's Church, is so much more!

Blessings,

Mike Kinnaly